it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
