i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
