Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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