Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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