Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
