My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
