Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
