The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let's get the cat blown out
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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