We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
