I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
