My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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