yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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