We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
