no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize