FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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