Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
