yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
