My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
