you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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