i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
