but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize