another moral hangover. fuck.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
