how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
