I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
