Im at strip club and am horny
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
