I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
cat food counts as protein by the way
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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