Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
