toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize