i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
