...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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