His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
