She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize