i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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