I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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