I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
