Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
