can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
