Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
