i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
