I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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