She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
