problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
