Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
