I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
