that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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