oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
