Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
