she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
