i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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