Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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