The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
