I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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