I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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