Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize