I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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