I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
