absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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