Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
