Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
