I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
one might say we're banned from that church
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize