I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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