you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
