he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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