Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
