Need sex. Gaining weight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
