I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
