dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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