it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
