This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
