we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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